100dates

Boys vs. Men

rhardesty — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:37:00 +0000

I realized that I haven’t been out with a guy that I liked on a date thing in years….My ex and I lived together right away, roommates in fact, so it pretty much took a lot of the mystery out from the getgo. Anyway, so I get home from dinner with my mom and I decide to paint my nails…why? I have no idea. They never dry in time and inevitably the left hand looks far superior to the right – ambidextrous I am not. So nail polish on, remove stockings, fuckup nail polish, shower, remove nail polish and cut nails to within an inch of their life. (Maybe ‘millimeter of their life, being that they probably judge “safe distance” in a much different way – I’m assuming nails actually judge distance. Its possible I am still a wee bit … you know… in the bag.)

So I’m getting ready. I went to CVS for new makeup – sorry no Saphora around Rockville – so I had lots of new supplies. I have to take a moment and thank Christie for showing me the beauty of concealer and the high and tight line. I looked even hotter than normal (pause for massive disbelief). So I do the makeup thing and the hair thing. The hair by the way looked fabulous, a bit of root exciter (?) and a blow dryer is magic. I realize that actually taking time to get ready helps. I also realize it sounds like I’m 13 and just discovering the joys and pains of self upkeep. So, all ready and off I go – cash, cigarettes, cab…the three C’s!

Bar XXXXX, the amazing mixologist (and this is a must do girls night some time) and two seats right at the end of the bar. I made a point of getting there first. I felt that is was important to have that power. I don’t have a clue why that seems powerful to me. Anyway, he arrived about a half a glass of wine later. The opening hugish thing with a kiss on the cheek worked well. He ordered a glass of wine and we were off to the races. It was the easiest conversation. It really just flowed. Lots of funny stories. Lots of snapshots of family life. College life. Current life. In the course of conversation he told me his age, a loud whisper in my ear followed by a quiet kiss on the cheek. It was so protective and vulnerable. (I will keep “that stuff” as limited as possible.)

Several things stuck me right off the bat. He’s really smart but not in a way that makes you want to runaway or fall asleepmid sentence. Its totally engaging. There seems to be a habit among the opposite sex of confusing overbearing and arrogant with confidence and chivalry. This was not an issue last night. He was interested in my stories and my opinions and he asked me questions and actually listened instead of just waiting for his turn to talk. And that was the other thing…everything seemed to be on the table. We both had a moment where we started to reveal something maybe 4th or 400th date worthy, stopped, looked at one another, and plowed ahead as though there wasn’t anything off limits. Nothing too embarrassing to share. Nothing too personal.

What did I think twice about sharing? Oh that sometimes I get super paranoid that someone has broken into my apartment and they are hiding and waiting for me to kill me. And they are likely small and creepy and contortionists and therefore could be hiding anywhere so I search my house including the stove and cupboards. He totally got it. I explained that i had watched Twin Peaks and before I could say another word, he said….”oh, its a Bob thing, he must have really creeped you out”. And of course he was right and it was funny and sweet and perfect. Turns out a good friend of his got her PhD in psych studying the character of Bob on the modern manifestation of paranoia….this is, in a nut shell, the kind of night it was…really. This is also about the same time that we started holding hands sitting at the bar. (I know, “that stuff”).

So more drinks, more chat, more drinks, more chat..215 and they finally asked us to leave. I never even noticed that we were one of 5 people left in the bar, the other 3 being staff. We left, walked a bit up 14th street. He held my hand. He hailed a cab, we got in and then….he kissed me. (que music) He kissed me all the way home. I got out, floated out, and before I could open my door he texted me ‘Soon please, again…’ We proceeded to text until well after 3am. He sent me 46 text message between 215 and 315.

In summation, a la Carrie Bradshaw….As the night progressed I was struck by all the differences between this man and my last man, my last boy. A boy I thought was a man. Do we have to date the boy first so we can recognize the man later?

Squirrels and homeless people cafe

rhardesty — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:33:15 +0000

The title of this post is literally a text message I received from a guy who is trying to date me. And I would love to be able to report to my devoted readers that it was at 3am and alcohal was involved, but the truth is that I got this text at 4:18pm. I guess I didn’t seriously consider the possibility that ths guy could have a major drinking problem but I sort of doubt it.

The things that hollywood won’t show us

rhardesty — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:47:44 +0000

Is it possible that we’re all just getting screwed? Movies show us all these amazing possibilities – we can be anything we want and even though there might be some heartbreak its ok because in the end it all works out, right? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but that is bullshit. It almost never works out ok in the end. I am in the process of coming to grips with this reality. In an attempt to wallow in my breakup sadness I searched netflix for a romantic drama that would make me sad or at least give me a clue that someone else had also felt total pain. But that doesn’t happen. The guy always shows up in the end, in the rain, with a fucking puppy or something and all is fine. Ever wonder why they don’t make sequels of those movies? Because that shit never works out! I wish someone would just be honest so that we would all stop waiting for the moment of magic.

Why can’t you just realize that he’s never coming back? Why can’t you accept it? He just didn’t love you back. Fuck.

November 4th 2008

rhardesty — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:17:44 +0000

Tonight we saw a moment that will define us all. I am honored to be an American for the first time in a long time. I am in awe. I got to share this night with my mother and my friends and my father, by phone, and all my friends, via text, and I love them all so much. They saw my sadness after the loss in 2004 and now we get to celebrate together. We are one again, this world is one again. I know there are many challenges to face but now I believe. Yes we can!

Introduction

rhardesty — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:35:49 +0000

Do you have any idea how many times I am going to have to go through the basic “first date” bullshit conversation? At least 100 and that assumes that the guys actually listen to what I say in response to the basic questions: where are you from? what do you do for a living? (this one is HUGE in DC and highly irritating) where did you go to school? and finally, where do you live? These questions are boring and while they give a print out of “who” a person is, they reveal nothing real or honest. I will do what I can to keep these short and sweet during my dates and I promise to never mention it again to my readers. I will stop the cycle of boredom with me!

So what the hell am I talking about and why do you care? Well, I am going to put my mothers “there are more fish in the sea” theory to the ultimate test. And that test is 100 dates in a 100 days. I have no clue if this is even possible but I’m going to give you the play by play as I literally date my way through the first quarter of 2009.

I have just 2 rules - as this goes on rules and guidelines may be expanded – expanded by a lot.

1. dates do not have to include a full meal or have to happen at night to count

2. Sundays will not be date days – I mean, everyone needs a break!

Stop in over the next 2 months I will start letting you in on the prep, the panic, the first date fashion issues, the search for 100 single men, and all the pure insanity inbetween.